Lost my best friend

[rjm158]

On Sunday, December 13th, my mother, who was 89 and had terminal cancer, passed away. It was exactly one month until her 90th birthday. She was a very independent, self sufficient, farm woman who wanted to do everything for herself until health considerations made it impossible. She grew up during the depression and World War II. She was from a family of German descent so there was a streak of stubbornness and determination that could be displayed and you had no doubt when it did. She was a great cook, seamstress, and grandma.

In the last several years mini-strokes had diminished function in her right leg and hip area and she gradually grew to depend on a quad-cane and then a walker to get around. In May this year melanoma developed on the right side of her head and neck and grew rapidly.

I had been off work for a little over a month taking round the clock care of her. One of her long time wishes was to die on the farm where she had lived for 56 years. I, along with help from other family members, was able to fulfill that wish. She also wanted to go to sleep and not wake up and that wish was granted too.

Throughout my whole life she was my best friend and someone who I could talk to about anything and know there would be helpful guidance and no judgment. Today is her funeral and it is going to take some time to reprogram my mind because I'm still seeing and thinking of things I want to be sure to tell her and then remember that isn't possible.

I just wanted to share with the folks here because I figure some of you have experienced this and can relate. For those who haven't faced this yet, please take a minute to tell your mom (and dad) that you love them.

Ron

 

[DrMike]

Ron, I pray that you may know the consolation of Christ the Lord as you grieve the death of your mother. I do understand. I had been in Canada only a few months when my dad died suddenly and unexpectedly. The pain was intense and my grief has never been fully assuaged. Nevertheless, I treasure the closeness we shared during the far too brief years. May you find real comfort even in the midst of this deep sorrow.

 

[HAWKEYESATX]

Ron,

I'm so very sorry your loss. May He that makes us, shine His light upon you, and give you everlasting peace.
I pray that He give you strength, and grace in this time of sorrow.
Remember her and her life as happy times.
You, undoubtedly, know she loved you and your siblings. Her love still carries on.
Yes, it's sad, but know you you will see her, again, when it's time.
I send my deepest condolences to you and your family.


Hawk


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[mjcmichigan]

Mother’s are special. They love us though all our short comings.


Praying for comfort in your loss.


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[PJGunner]

I'm sorry for your loss.
Paul B.

 

[Rol_P]

Ron, I am very sorry for your loss. Dr. Mike and Hawk have very nicely verbalized my thought and I thank them both. Like you, my sister and I kept our parents home as they wished during their transition to the eternal life that we all hope for. It has been 9 and 11 years respectively for Dad and Mom's passing, and I am not ashamed to say I still talk to them frequently, when I am by myself and sometimes silently in the company of others. May God Bless and comfort you and your family during this difficult time.

 

[JD338]

So sorry to hear about your mother passing.
Keep the faith and know that she is in a good place.

JD338

 

[gerry]

Our thoughts and prayers are with you Ron, I'm so glad you had a great relationship with her and I have no doubt you are carrying on her example with your family as well. We lost our mom recently as well so as DrMike said many of us can relate from experience what you are going through.

 

[cloverleaf]

Sorry to hear of your loss. Good that the two of you were close and that you were able to support her in such an important and worthwhile way. CL

 

[bdbrown66]

So sorry for your lost, my brother. Peace to you and your family.

 

[NYDAN]

Your mom sounds like a very special person. I am sorry for your loss. Condolences to you and your family. Dan

 

[26NosFan]

Ron, you have my deepest condolences and I too felt the sting of the loss of my best friend, my father. 11/30 was 8 yrs he's been gone and I miss him everyday. Here is a poem that helps me when the sadness sets in. I keep a copy in my wallet. Its called Immortality by Mary Elizabeth Frye.

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

 

[Gun nut]

So sorry for the passing of your mother. You are definitely blessed to have a parent like this.
Duane

 

[wvbuckbuster]

Sorry for the loos of your mother. My mom was the glue that held our family together. She has been gone 5 years. Lots of good memories will sustain you in the days ahead. I hope you are a believer In Jesus as He can give comfort that is best of all. Dan.

 

[longrangehunter]

Ron,

My heart goes out to you for your loss, it's one of the saddest things in life to lose our parents. I lost my Father when I was only 27, and a few years after that my mother. They were older like your mother.

The woman you knew may be gone, but your mother's soul will live on for eternity in another body as another persons life..... Hence eternal life as God saw fit.

 

[rjm158]

Thanks to everyone for the kind words and sentiments. We had a nice service for mom, personalized for her and the people attending wore plaid shirts and jeans or bib overalls because that is what she preferred. A small thing, to be sure, but still something she liked.

When my mom and uncle were in high school during the mid-40's and would come home after some school event, there would be a lit coal oil lamp (no electricity in those days) on the kitchen table. Whoever was the last in blew it out. When she told me about this and I was in high school, sometimes that lamp would be on our kitchen table when I came home late and I would blow it out. At her service, the pastor lit the lamp to begin the service and blew it out at the conclusion. Several people who knew the story and significance told me later they were handling things ok, but when the lamp was blown out they lost it.

Again, thanks for allowing me to share with you and for the kind words and comments.

Ron

 

[DrMike]

Sounds as if it was a most meaningful service, Ron. I'm so pleased that you were able to have this opportunity to share a truly thoughtful remembrance of your mom for her family and friends.

 

[mjcmichigan]

Ron, great traditions and memories.
The plaid and jeans/bibs, very sweet gesture. May you be comforted with your memories!


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[AFG270]

My condolences, Ron. So sorry to hear about your Mom, she is in a better place.

I lost my Mom 11 years ago at the age of 90, the same way as you lost your Mom. Sounds like she would have been very proud of you and your family for the nice services.